A hobby out of making hobbies.

I'm not one for trying new things, not even close. However, at the same time conferring to a strict set of guidelines just doesn't fit me. I keep every day in a state of rhythmic chaos. I hit the general beats of every day: waking up, getting to the bus, going to school, doing extra curricular, than coming back home, procrastinate, than finish homework and go to bed. But every day the melody in between the beats changes.

One day I'll wake up with 5 minutes to the bus, while some other time I might wake up way too early. Sometimes I might miss some homework last night and other times I get a nagging urge that I had forgotten something. On some days I feel like staying underneath the protective sheets of my bed. On others I try to escape them like the plague. And sometimes I might switch out what music I listen to. I guess I would say from time to time my actions veer on the side compulsive and so are my habits and hobbies. But I wouldn't be able to tell you if I grew up compulsive or it was just how I was raised.

Since I never spoke with many people, or had any friends, I would spend all of my time with my parents(specifically my mom), and my legos. And so I could say a lot of my habits come from her. We both tend to lean towards this live now, forgive later lifestyle. And I can still recall an almost constant bickering I would have within my family. And although we would always swear upon a higher power that there would be consequences in the end we wouldn't even remember it an hour after it would happen.


And combined with my forgetful nature, these principals I would soon adapt into my own. I would most accurately describe it as living to forgive and forget, with special emphasis on forgetting. But it leaks into all other aspects of how I live. Like how I make my hobbies; or at least try to make them. I guess it's the strong commitment factor that comes into play when I try and get into a hobby. I retain my interest in them until I get okay, but not great. After that I come to realize that in the end it still feels hollow. Because any sort of hobby I might get into always always ends with someone better, someone higher, someone always out of reach.

I hate that feeling. Which is why I chose not to dwell on it. I mean if I can't keep a hobby. then why not just make it a hobby out of making hobbies. At this point anything I find interesting I'll pick up, weather over a collection of burnout weekends, or during a particularly uninteresting afternoon. I think its quite fun learning all these new things. You start to learn how just about everything is intertwined. Like who would have thought some tricks I would have learned years and years ago from a book in Borders titled the encyclopedia of immaturity would end up helping me and my small rag tag group of friends to win a tournament our weekend enrichment school had held.

And I guess the best part about it is the fact that there is no sort of hierarchical ladder of any sorts when your hobby is about making hobby. I mean its like what would you measure it by? The amount of hobbies they've made, that's ridiculous. But I guess even though I may like to think of it as a permanent solution its most like just another hobby that will fade in time once I find a true hobby which I enjoy no matter what.